HAPPY DEEP FRYER PURCHASING DAY!
What's that? You say you don't deep fry your turkey? Man, you're missing out. Better get onboard the Crispy Turkey Train, like ASAP.
Because we're Americans, damnit. (After Nov. 8th, maybe now more than ever *shudder*.) And that means that we don't pass up an opportunity to make food both tastier and more likely to clog arteries.
Trust me, and you're welcome. Just don't go overboard—nothing too blackened, yeah? The results aren't pretty. Exhibit A:
Your obvious culinary shortcomings aside, maybe I should wish you a Happy Turkey Brine Prep Day instead?
Not a briner either, huh?
Then perhaps a Happy Stock-Up-On-Industrial-Sized-Cans-of-Beets-for-Aunt-Mable Day?
Auntie M's not a beet fan?
How 'bout I offered a Pre-Thanksgiving Happy Thanksgiving and called it a day, cool?
And now to Shoply Things!
BLACK FRIDAY SALE!
Starting Black Friday, all bikes are ON SALE!
Big surprise, right? A sale on the biggest retail day of the year. "Wow, MBR, ur so original. Color me shocked."
Hey, man. It's kind of a rule when you're in the business of selling stuff. Especially cool stuff that makes you cooler for sitting your butt upon its coolness. So just roll with it, yeah? (See what I did there?)
I give you the discounted bikes, and you just be grateful. Miscreant.
Anyhow, we've got massive markdowns on our full setups of Felt and Pure City bikes, and we want nothing more to offer you a new ride for the coming year to start out all fresh and dandy and new.
And now the news!
SEATTLE CITY COUNCIL'S BIG OL' BIKE BUDGET
Our fair burg's city council, home to one of the few elected Socialist officials in the country (seriously, my limited research time suggests it might just be Kshama) has just passed a few sizeable bike-friendly additions to the budget for 2017-18.
These will include an increase to Mayor Ed Murray's Move Seattle budget, funding to facilitate more robust staffing for Move's alliance with SDOT, and a mandate to the Center City Connector to deliver a bike safety report for its extension project.
As a parting gift, here's a bacon-wrapped turkey:
See? I can be nice.